Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Frank_McGinty]Frank McGinty
Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy. Yet I shouldn't have felt that way!
My wife had left for work and I was hanging the washing out to dry. A neighbour from down the way was in his backyard doing the same. 'Good day for drying', he called. 'Let's hope the rain stays away.'
I had to think about what made me uneasy. Then it hit me. Two men hanging out the washing!
When I was a kid that would never have happened. That was women's work, after all!
And that made me think about the changing role of men and fatherhood.
Change is seldom easy, hence the deeply buried sense of unease - even in someone like me who considers himself an enlightened individual!
The image of fatherhood has changed very much in recent years, hasn't it?
We've come a long way from the distant, unemotional, patriarch figure. The god-like master who provided for his family, but didn't expect to be troubled by family issues!
After World War II there was a definite shift. Men became much more involved in the play and leisure areas of family life.
Maybe this was due to the separation caused by the war and consequent feelings of vulnerability. But men still didn't get involved in household chores!
Today we see a much more enlightened image of the male as a co-parent, getting involved in all aspects of family life and pulling his weight in the home.
Or do we? . . .
Are we really there yet? Some men are moving in the right direction. Others need a gentle push!
Perhaps they need encouragement more than anything.
Young boys tend to see their dads as role models and often absorb, even unconsciously, their dads attitudes and habits. So if some of today's dads haven't witnessed and experienced the input of an involved father, the role may not come easily to them.
And yet a dad's involvement in family life has so much benefit both for the children, the mother and the dad himself.
By pulling their weight with the household chores Dads give a good example to their kids AND they help ease the burden on an all too often over-burdened Mum.
By getting involved in play and educational activities Dads can help build that vital relationship on which confidence depends - their own confidence as parents and the confidence of their kids:
to explore and discover their talents and abilitiesto learn the boundaries within which they must operateto absorb the values of the person in charge of them.So much to be gained, for all parties involved!
So if Dad is a rather reluctant participant in family matters, remember that as well as a firm push he may need lots of encouragement.
After all, the role may not come easily since hundreds of years on non-involvement are in his genes.
Let's all look forward to the day when hanging up the laundry is no big deal for a Dad!
Happy parenting.
Keen to develop your parenting skills? Visit Frank McGinty's [http://www.parentingbookgold.com ]ParentingBookGold for a free six-step bulletin and access to vital parenting articles, plus the ultimate [http://www.parentingbookgold.com/products.html ]parenting book products.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Frank_McGinty [http://ezinearticles.com/?Responsible-Fatherhood---A-Unique-And-Irreplaceable-Role!&id=56131 ]http://EzineArticles.com/?Responsible-Fatherhood---A-Unique-And-Irreplaceable-Role!&id=56131
Saturday, April 12, 2008
20 Steps To Becoming The World's Best Dad
The Gift Of Fatherhood - Top 20 Steps To Becoming the World's Best DadBy [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Guy]Andrew Guy
There is no trick to being a good father; however, fatherhood is whatever you put into it. It comes without saying: all men have the potential to be and become great fathers, but not many succeed to an acceptable plateau. It has also been said that males are in general, busier than their female counterparts; but still, the truth remains, a schedule should not take precedence over spending quality time with your family. Corporate America will not tell you this, but family comes first, not the big job or highfalutin careers. Is this you? Ask yourself: is there anything, that I can do to be a better father to my child or children?
Also, ever wonder why some kids grow up not knowing their fathers, or show resentment toward them, even though they share the same house? Notice, I said house, not home. It is important that we distinguish the difference between house, and a home. A house is nothing more than just a building or shelter, or a place where you live. On the other hand, a home is an environment that is designed to foster the enhancement of life and happiness of those within it. Also, a home is always conducive to growth, love, caring, and sharing. Unlike a home, you can still live in a house and not do any of the above mentioned.
Here Is The Problem: The problem is because most "men-fathers" do not see the importance and or rewards in fatherhood. I call them "men-fathers" because some are men, many are fathers, but most do not know which role to play. So they put everything before the most important aspect of their lives, and hope for the best and for things to work themselves out. Bottom line, they will not unless you make it work. It must also be known that the male is the head of the female, and is therefore the head of the household. With that being said, males play a crucial role in the development of the offspring. Yes, the mother does too, but their roles are different. They nurture the offspring, while providing the atmosphere for love and harmony. In other words, they are the glue that holds the pieces together. A male may set the stage, and gather the pieces, but it is the female, or in this case, the mother which is the keeper.
Here Is The Mistake: No one is more important than the other; thus, never make this mistake by saying "mother is more important than father, or vise versa. Both parents are highly important in providing a great life for the offspring(s) and each other.
Here Is The Solution: Top 20 Steps to being a better dad.
Before the baby is born, massage her feet and rub her belly
Pray, and read to the baby and talk to him/her so he can know your voice
You must go into the labor room with her, stay, and do not pass out
You must first love yourself before you can love someone else (simple, but important)
Learn and love to read (for self-improvement and to acquire knowledge to protect your family)
See yourself as a creator of things, people and ideas
Be a team player, know your role and its importance
Support your wife, or the mother of your child/children
Be brave and showoff your handy-man-ship around the home (it builds confidence in the female toward you)
Try to fix things yourself before hiring external help (it makes you a better leader)
Do not be afraid of poop, yes, poop
Be willing to learn and change dirty diapers
Participate in bathing your child and putting him/her to bed
Sharpen your lullaby singing skills (it helps when putting them to sleep)
Never wait to be told the following; we need: (diapers, formula, baby oil and power)
Take initiative, keep a keen eye on overall household products
Always keep an emergency stash of cash somewhere (only you should know)
Always pay your bills on time, preferably one week in advance
Use a calendar to schedule important dates (bills, doctor visits, birthdays)
Never ask your wife or the child's mother for money, only if you just have to-you shouldn't because you always have emergency funds (EF)
Finally, in your pursuit to becoming a better father, do not forget, all things are possible to them who believe and work toward any desired goal. Your goal might be to spend more time with your son or daughter, or even, remember their birthdays, like Jack Nicholson in the movie " [http://thebucketlist.warnerbros.com/]The Bucket List." It's a start. And who said you have to be perfect the first time around; no one! So why not start today? Be the hero of your family and not the zero.
Andrew Guy is a freelance writer, motivational speaker, an hilarious stand-up comic, and proud father. In the past he's also been a television comedy show writer. For guest appearances and other services, check out his website at http://www.datphunnyguy.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Guy http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Gift-Of-Fatherhood---Top-20-Steps-To-Becoming-the-Worlds-Best-Dad&id=1017821
There is no trick to being a good father; however, fatherhood is whatever you put into it. It comes without saying: all men have the potential to be and become great fathers, but not many succeed to an acceptable plateau. It has also been said that males are in general, busier than their female counterparts; but still, the truth remains, a schedule should not take precedence over spending quality time with your family. Corporate America will not tell you this, but family comes first, not the big job or highfalutin careers. Is this you? Ask yourself: is there anything, that I can do to be a better father to my child or children?
Also, ever wonder why some kids grow up not knowing their fathers, or show resentment toward them, even though they share the same house? Notice, I said house, not home. It is important that we distinguish the difference between house, and a home. A house is nothing more than just a building or shelter, or a place where you live. On the other hand, a home is an environment that is designed to foster the enhancement of life and happiness of those within it. Also, a home is always conducive to growth, love, caring, and sharing. Unlike a home, you can still live in a house and not do any of the above mentioned.
Here Is The Problem: The problem is because most "men-fathers" do not see the importance and or rewards in fatherhood. I call them "men-fathers" because some are men, many are fathers, but most do not know which role to play. So they put everything before the most important aspect of their lives, and hope for the best and for things to work themselves out. Bottom line, they will not unless you make it work. It must also be known that the male is the head of the female, and is therefore the head of the household. With that being said, males play a crucial role in the development of the offspring. Yes, the mother does too, but their roles are different. They nurture the offspring, while providing the atmosphere for love and harmony. In other words, they are the glue that holds the pieces together. A male may set the stage, and gather the pieces, but it is the female, or in this case, the mother which is the keeper.
Here Is The Mistake: No one is more important than the other; thus, never make this mistake by saying "mother is more important than father, or vise versa. Both parents are highly important in providing a great life for the offspring(s) and each other.
Here Is The Solution: Top 20 Steps to being a better dad.
Before the baby is born, massage her feet and rub her belly
Pray, and read to the baby and talk to him/her so he can know your voice
You must go into the labor room with her, stay, and do not pass out
You must first love yourself before you can love someone else (simple, but important)
Learn and love to read (for self-improvement and to acquire knowledge to protect your family)
See yourself as a creator of things, people and ideas
Be a team player, know your role and its importance
Support your wife, or the mother of your child/children
Be brave and showoff your handy-man-ship around the home (it builds confidence in the female toward you)
Try to fix things yourself before hiring external help (it makes you a better leader)
Do not be afraid of poop, yes, poop
Be willing to learn and change dirty diapers
Participate in bathing your child and putting him/her to bed
Sharpen your lullaby singing skills (it helps when putting them to sleep)
Never wait to be told the following; we need: (diapers, formula, baby oil and power)
Take initiative, keep a keen eye on overall household products
Always keep an emergency stash of cash somewhere (only you should know)
Always pay your bills on time, preferably one week in advance
Use a calendar to schedule important dates (bills, doctor visits, birthdays)
Never ask your wife or the child's mother for money, only if you just have to-you shouldn't because you always have emergency funds (EF)
Finally, in your pursuit to becoming a better father, do not forget, all things are possible to them who believe and work toward any desired goal. Your goal might be to spend more time with your son or daughter, or even, remember their birthdays, like Jack Nicholson in the movie " [http://thebucketlist.warnerbros.com/]The Bucket List." It's a start. And who said you have to be perfect the first time around; no one! So why not start today? Be the hero of your family and not the zero.
Andrew Guy is a freelance writer, motivational speaker, an hilarious stand-up comic, and proud father. In the past he's also been a television comedy show writer. For guest appearances and other services, check out his website at http://www.datphunnyguy.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Guy http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Gift-Of-Fatherhood---Top-20-Steps-To-Becoming-the-Worlds-Best-Dad&id=1017821
Friday, April 11, 2008
Okay...Now what?
I remember bringing her home for the first time...in a cold sweat...panicking! Creating a life is one of the easiest things that a man can do, but the trick is raising a productive, ambitious, independent member of society. This was perceived by me to be very complicated, as the child we had just brought home was of the female gender. I had been a boy my entire life, I had no idea what girls really liked to do. I knew what I liked them to do, but that would never do for my baby girl. I'm sure this is a dilemma that many men face when their chickens come home to roost and they are blessed with the gift of a daughter. Before I could begin plotting the path of this beautiful child named Paige, I had to get through the initial nights without dropping or crushing this most fragile of beings. I felt myself tensing as I tried to think of things to do for the baby and my wife. I had the perception that something should always be done, but being new to fatherhood and not having my dad, who passed away in 1992, to talk to, I felt very vulnerable. I didn't want to make any mistakes yet I wasn't sure as to what I should be doing at virtually any moment of the day. I was more than happy when my wife designated tasks for me to complete. If not for the wisdom and calming words of my older brother Vince, who has 2 girls of his own, I would have been a frazzled mess for the early stages of my daughter's life.
Born March 9, 1999, Paige was the most beautiful and wonderful thing I had ever laid eyes on. This was a totally unexpected revelation, as I like most 1st time fathers was hopeful that I would have a son. Ah yes, a son...my boy, a chip off the old block. As I fantasized about the arrival of junior, I could visualize all the things that I would impart to a man child. I saw myself coaching his little league team, shouting encouragement from the stands at football games, wading through a multitude of offers from Div. 1 college coaches and eventually celebrating on draft day...in the first round. All of those visions were deleted when the 5 month ultrasound revealed no male equipment. Now I know that the politically correct thing to say is "I just want the baby to be healthy, no matter what the sex is", and this was true for me as well for I did want a happy, healthy child, but I must say that I was disappointed when it was confirmed that a son was not to be. It took a while for me to remove all mental files of sports themed bedsheets, mini baseball gloves, and nerf footballs, but it had to be done. The only problem with this was that I didn't know what to replace those files with. However the great thing about parenthood is that you learn quickly or get eaten alive.
In the early morning hours of March 9, 1999, my wife and I grabbed the pre-packed bags, locked up the house, and headed to the hospital. Contractions were averaging about 5-6 minutes apart and began to grow increasingly stronger. Dr. Bayly, Jr. had been notified and all systems were go! As we entered the highway on our trek to the hospital, beautiful large white flakes of snow began to fall. It was approximately 1 a.m. so the roads were pretty clear and the snow made everything look very serene. Upon arriving to the hospital I unloaded the bags, got my wife checked in, then went to park the car. All the while an excited, nervous tension permeated my feelings, kinda of like hearing all of your numbers announced in the lottery...except for the last one. Only at the end of this ride there wouldn't be a letdown like that, but more of the unknown, like the first couple of days on a new job that you've been wanting for a long time. When I got back to the room where my wife was, I tried to see if their was anything that I could do for her then I began to call the assembled list of troops that demanded to be notified immediately...My mother-in-law, my mom, my sister, my wife's aunt, my aunt, my wife's cousin, my brother, the academy, all the writers, and so on it went. By 6 a.m. a contingent that consisted of mother-in-law, wife's aunt, mother, and sister had arrived and were in place for delivery. By 9 a.m. the doctor had arrived, did a final check and said "Okay, let me go change and get this show on the road".
Fast forward to 9:20 a.m., the baby is on it's way. The dr. tells me to "look here" and lo and behold it's the top of a little hairy head. Moments later she is out, here in the world, with me, I mean us, beginning life. I take the scissors in hand and cut the umbilical cord, then like a rock star she's whisked away to be cleaned, aspirated, weighed, and a number of other things that I can't recollect at this time. Then a few minutes later they bring this amazing baby back and place her in my arms and I begin to do the one thing that I couldn't help....I cried. Looking at her, how could I have ever wished for anything else. She was perfect in every way and she had the unbelievable ability of making me know that she was just what I needed.
Born March 9, 1999, Paige was the most beautiful and wonderful thing I had ever laid eyes on. This was a totally unexpected revelation, as I like most 1st time fathers was hopeful that I would have a son. Ah yes, a son...my boy, a chip off the old block. As I fantasized about the arrival of junior, I could visualize all the things that I would impart to a man child. I saw myself coaching his little league team, shouting encouragement from the stands at football games, wading through a multitude of offers from Div. 1 college coaches and eventually celebrating on draft day...in the first round. All of those visions were deleted when the 5 month ultrasound revealed no male equipment. Now I know that the politically correct thing to say is "I just want the baby to be healthy, no matter what the sex is", and this was true for me as well for I did want a happy, healthy child, but I must say that I was disappointed when it was confirmed that a son was not to be. It took a while for me to remove all mental files of sports themed bedsheets, mini baseball gloves, and nerf footballs, but it had to be done. The only problem with this was that I didn't know what to replace those files with. However the great thing about parenthood is that you learn quickly or get eaten alive.
In the early morning hours of March 9, 1999, my wife and I grabbed the pre-packed bags, locked up the house, and headed to the hospital. Contractions were averaging about 5-6 minutes apart and began to grow increasingly stronger. Dr. Bayly, Jr. had been notified and all systems were go! As we entered the highway on our trek to the hospital, beautiful large white flakes of snow began to fall. It was approximately 1 a.m. so the roads were pretty clear and the snow made everything look very serene. Upon arriving to the hospital I unloaded the bags, got my wife checked in, then went to park the car. All the while an excited, nervous tension permeated my feelings, kinda of like hearing all of your numbers announced in the lottery...except for the last one. Only at the end of this ride there wouldn't be a letdown like that, but more of the unknown, like the first couple of days on a new job that you've been wanting for a long time. When I got back to the room where my wife was, I tried to see if their was anything that I could do for her then I began to call the assembled list of troops that demanded to be notified immediately...My mother-in-law, my mom, my sister, my wife's aunt, my aunt, my wife's cousin, my brother, the academy, all the writers, and so on it went. By 6 a.m. a contingent that consisted of mother-in-law, wife's aunt, mother, and sister had arrived and were in place for delivery. By 9 a.m. the doctor had arrived, did a final check and said "Okay, let me go change and get this show on the road".
Fast forward to 9:20 a.m., the baby is on it's way. The dr. tells me to "look here" and lo and behold it's the top of a little hairy head. Moments later she is out, here in the world, with me, I mean us, beginning life. I take the scissors in hand and cut the umbilical cord, then like a rock star she's whisked away to be cleaned, aspirated, weighed, and a number of other things that I can't recollect at this time. Then a few minutes later they bring this amazing baby back and place her in my arms and I begin to do the one thing that I couldn't help....I cried. Looking at her, how could I have ever wished for anything else. She was perfect in every way and she had the unbelievable ability of making me know that she was just what I needed.
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